Lost on the Journey

Its been so obvious to me in the past that I am a gung-ho kinda person. I get really excited about something for a while and then I fall off it in a few weeks. I think I've always been this way, for as long as I can remember.

This is evident in the fact that I haven't looked at this blog for so long that I forgot what my password was. In the meantime, I have gained back any weight I had lost and I feel like I'm starting over... again... for what feels like the 100th time.

I was re-reading some of my prior blog posts and have realized that maybe I'm focusing on the wrong thing. This whole time I've been trying to get to a "destination". But weight and health and fitness don't work that way. I won't be "unhealthy" the day before I reach my goal weight. And I won't be "fit" on the day that I see that ever-important number on the scale. This is a journey and I think I've been getting lost.

Now I'll try to set myself on the right path again.

Every Other Day Diet

I read an article in Oxygen yesterday about research done on a new diet. Its got many different names and everyone that comes out with a new plan for it just changes small details. Its sometimes call Intermittent Fasting (IF). But the basics are this:

- Every other day you eat only 500 calories. ("fast day")

- On the "feast" day you can eat whatever you want.

- You work out regularly whether its a fast or feast day

- You drink lots of water throughout.

The article states that fasting for half the week, essentially, is the optimal way to only take in the small amount of calories you need when you're dieting, without limiting yourself all the time. It found that the people that were eating this way would not overeat as much as you'd think they would on their fest days because they were becoming more aware of how it felt to be full and they'd stop.

I did something similar to this a year or so ago - it was called the 1-Day diet. It consisted of only protein waters (a specific concoction of protein powder, green tea, cinnamon, etc) drunk every 1.5 hrs throughout the day, with no other "real" food eaten on those fast days. You would do this every other day for a month for optimal weight loss. I lasted a week or so. I did lose the weight quickly, including inches, but I found that I became almost obssessive about food and would so look forward to my "days off" that I would binge on things that would make me sick. Then the following day, on my protein water day, I would feel sick from the day before and also be irritable because I was restricting my food so much.

So much of eating is psychological. Even if I wasn't hungry throughout the day, the fact that I couldn't actually chew food, real food, killed me! I had considered doing this diet again to see if I could stick it out, but I just hadn't gotten around to it.

I always wondered how healthy this approach was and I was happy to see that someone had taken the time to research the different ways to do it and had come up with compelling research to show that it actually was a healthy way to lose weight (as long as you aren't nursing, pregnant, ill, etc).

While 500 calories a day, every other day, seems crazy, I look at it this way: My salad at lunch is normally around 250 calories. I could eat a salad for lunch and then another salad at dinner. Sure, it won't be fun, and I won't like it. It will be a challenge. But what if it actually works? Now that I know its not detrimental to my health, I'm absolutely willing to try it again!

This week I have to go to training in Issaquah, which means I'll have to bring my food to work with me. This may be the perfect opportunity to try this. We'll see how it goes!

Monday Start-Over

When I was growing up I always thought of Monday as a start-over. I wanted to start practicing piano everyday - I'll start on Monday. I really should focus more on reading or my studies - I'll start on Monday. I want to give up meat - I'll start on Monday.

I'm not sure why Monday is the beginning for me. One wold think that Sunday would hold the same value since its the beginning of the week. But Monday has always been the beginning of my week.

And now I'm going to do it again - the last couple weeks have been really hard for me in terms of my fitness goals. I'm not sure why. But tomorrow is another Monday I'm starting over again.

No shame or guilt about the past couple weeks or what I didn't accomplish. Just a fresh start. Again.

What else are Mondays for anyway??

Biggest Loser

Speaking of the game.... Biggest Loser wrapped up a week ago. The results were to be expected- the person I thought was going to win did. But the amount of weight she lost was shocking. She started at 260 lbs and ended up at 105 lbs. The backlash was instant. At the finale she looked frail and guant, not the strong person she had been just the week before (4 wks in real time). 

The reactions from everyone, including a couple of the trainers, was that of shock:

The general reaction was that Rachel was much too thin to be considered healthy. Some viewers were enraged that the show would allow it- that in the future there should be a rule against someone being underweight. 

My opinion is that this was a game for $250,000 and Rachel wanted to win. On another level I think it's obvious that she had a problem with food before, and that's how she had intimately gained so much weight. Now... She still probably had a problem with food- but the opposite issue. She is afraid to eat and when she does, she feels the need to work off those calories immediately. 

I'm not going to judge her because I don't know the whole story. I am amazed at the transformation and inspired to keep on my journey- but I do hope the girl was determined to get this small for the money, and will ultimately add a little more lean muscle to her tiny frame. I think her being underweight for a short period of time is healthier than her being overweight for what could have been the rest of her life. 

Back in the Groove

My dad came to visit last week. It was great having him here. We tackled the office and renovated that room by taking out a closet and then putting up shelves and a desk in its place. Dad also put up a ceiling fan in the office and took down the ceiling fan in the dining room to put up a pretty light. After he left halfway through the week, I still had 2 days of painting and floor installation. All in all, the office looks so much better and this weekend I finished painting the trim so that I can finish the floors now. 

The downfall of all this is that my workout and eating routine was interrupted. Stopping work halfway through for a 2 hr period to go to the gym just wasn't an option. At all. And eating healthy was so difficult when I'm the only one that is watching my calories. So last week was a complete bust. 

I made it a point this week to really get back on the ball. I'm very proud of my efforts. I worked out 4 days and was very careful about my food all week. I even went out to eat on Wednesday night and still stayed within my calorie range by making healthy decisions. I didn't lose any weight this week, but I didn't gain any either. And since last week was so terrible, I'm just happy about that!

I'm trying so hard to remember that my goal is to get healthier and feel good about myself and that I don't have to put a date stamp on it. I don't need to be a certain size or weight by a specific date. I can just keep making good decisions and if I lose weight one week- that's great! If I don't, that's ok too. As long as I'm still in the game psychologically. 

Progress

As of last Sunday (1/12/14), I have lost 5lbs. It's not much, but to see any progress at all when you're starting out is a huge accomplishment. It makes me feel like I'm actually able to achieve some goals. It's feels amazing to look back at all my hard work these last couple weeks and to know that it wasn't in vain. 

Too often I think I get so caught up in instant gratification that even when I know my long term goals are the more important ones, I still become overwhelmed when I don't see the needle move at all. I have to remember at these times that progress will happen, but I have to be patient. The important thing is that I feel good about myself when I'm working hard. 

This week, there were days that I didn't want to go to the gym after work. I was tired, I was in a bad mood, I just wanted to stay home and relax instead of feeling like I go straight from work to working out, to coming home to shower, to eating and then straight to bed to do it all over again the next day. But a strange thing happened- about midway through the week, I wanted to go to the gym. (Now, I still WENT to the gym at the beginning of the week, I just didn't want to go.) I distinctly remember around 3:00 on Wednesday, I couldn't wait for the day to be over just so I could go to the gym. I've always heard that working out gives you more energy, makes you happy, makes you sleep better, etc. Now I haven't quite been feeling the benefits of energy and sleeping well, but for the first time this week, I made the connection between working out and lifting my mood. I was just on a grumpy mood this week during the day. But after I put in a good hour at the gym, I felt infinitely better. I didn't snap at Katie, I didn't become overwhelmed with my stir-crazy dogs, I didn't become emotional about how I looked and felt. In fact, I felt great! I was sore and tired and able to eat a small portion of ice cream even! I know it will only get better. And right now, I'm just really happy about that!

So now I have a 3 day weekend and how will I spend it? I'm very excited to hit the gym tomorrow- it felt almost wrong not going today! I want to get in a good workout and then take some laps in the pool- it's a great workout and it also relaxes me at the same time. Then hopefully the weather cooperates and I can take my crazy dogs on a walk or to the park or something. 

And since I owe myself a 5# reward- it's movie marathon weekend! We're gong to spend a day just relaxing and watching movies. Right now it's between a Twilight marathon and Disney movies. So excited to get a good workout in that morning and then do nothing else for the rest of my day!

Progress. That's all I need- progress!

Planning

Another week down and I'm feeling so good about myself. I worked out 4 days last week and 3 days this week. And that was at the gym. That doesn't even include the active stuff we did over the weekend with the dogs. I have been super careful about my calorie intake and I've only been over calories a couple times this week. So much better than usual. 

I also went to another gym today. My gym membership allows me access to all their facilities and I happen to be smack in between 2 of them. So I tried the one I hadn't been to yet. The layout was very simple and the other gym is definitely prettier structurally. But this one wasn't nearly as busy. I think I'll probably go back to this one at least until the January crowd does down.  

All in all, a great week and I'm gearing up for a great weekend!